I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
