When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
