The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
