Quotations
Funny

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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