You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
