Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
