Quotations
Funny

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

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