Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
