I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
