Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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