Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
