I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
