When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
