The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
