Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
