Quotations
Funny

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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