A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
