Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
