Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
