I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
