Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
