Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
