Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
