I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
