I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
