Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
