Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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