Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

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