Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
