The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
