A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
