This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
