Quotations
Funny

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

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