Quotations
Funny

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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