Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
