I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
