When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
