When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
