Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

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