When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
