Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
