Quotations
Funny

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

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