Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

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