Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
