Quotations
Funny

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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