I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
