The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
