Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
