Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

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