When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
