Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
