Quotations
Funny

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

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