Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
