Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

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