Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
