Quotations
Funny

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

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