The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
