My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
