Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
