The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
