Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

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