Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
