Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
