When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
