Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
