Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

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