Quotations
Funny

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

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