Quotations
Funny

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

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