Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
