Quotations
Funny

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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