Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
