Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
