Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
