Quotations
Funny

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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