Quotations
Funny

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

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