Quotations
Funny

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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