Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

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