Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
