You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
