Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

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