Quotations
Funny

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

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