Quotations
Funny

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

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