Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
