I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
