Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
