Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
