Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

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