Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
