Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
