My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
