Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

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