Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

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