Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
