Quotations
Funny

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

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