Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

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