Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
