I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
