Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

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