Quotations
Funny

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

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