When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
