Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
