When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
