Quotations
Funny

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

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