Quotations
Funny

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

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