I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
