Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
