I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
