Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
