Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
