Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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