When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
