Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
