Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

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