I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
