When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
