Quotations
Funny

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

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