Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
