I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
