Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

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