Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

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