Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

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