Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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