Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
