Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
