Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

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