I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
