A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
