When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
