Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
