Quotations
Funny

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

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