Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
