Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
