Quotations
Funny

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

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