When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
