Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
