Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
