Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

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