When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
