I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
