Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
