Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

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