I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
