Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
