I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
