I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
