Quotations
Funny

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

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