When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
