Quotations
Funny

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

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