Quotations
Funny

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

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