Quotations
Funny

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

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