When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
