Quotations
Funny

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

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