Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
