Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
