Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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