Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

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