You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
