I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
