I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
