Quotations
Funny

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

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