I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
