Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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