Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
