When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
