Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
