Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
