When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
