Quotations
Funny

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

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