Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

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