When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
