Quotations
Funny

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

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