You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
