Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
