When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
