Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

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