Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
