The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
