When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
