When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
