Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

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