Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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