Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

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