I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
