I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
