Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
