Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
