I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
