The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
