A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
