Quotations
Funny

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

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