Quotations
Funny

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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