When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
