Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
