I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
