Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
