Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
