I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
