Quotations
Funny

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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