Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

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