When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
