I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
