Quotations
Funny

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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