Quotations
Funny

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

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