I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
