The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
