Quotations
Funny

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

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