Quotations
Funny

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

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