I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
