When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
