Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

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