I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
