When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
