Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

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