A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
