The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
