Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

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