Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
