Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
