Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
