I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
