When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
