Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
