I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
