Quotations
Funny

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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