Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

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