When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
