When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
