When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
