Quotations
Funny

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

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