Quotations
Funny

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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