Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
