The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
