I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
