Quotations
Funny

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

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