Quotations
Funny

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

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