Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

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