Quotations
Funny

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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