I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
