I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
