When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
