He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
