Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
