Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
