The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
