Quotations
Funny

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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