Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
