I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
