Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
