Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
