Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

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