The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
