Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
