I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
