I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
