Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
