When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
