The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
