Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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