Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

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