The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
