Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
