When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
