Quotations
Funny

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

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