Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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