Quotations
Funny

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

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