I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
