The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
