Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
