Quotations
Funny

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

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