Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
