I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
