Quotations
Funny

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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