When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
