I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
