Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

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