Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
