Quotations
Funny

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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