Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
