I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
