When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
