Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

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