When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
