Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
