Quotations
Funny

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

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