I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
