The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
