I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
