A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
