When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
