Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
