I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
