Quotations
Funny

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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