Quotations
Funny

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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