Quotations
Funny

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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