Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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