When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
