When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
