Quotations
Funny

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

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