Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
