Quotations
Funny

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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