When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
