Quotations
Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

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