I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
