Quotations
Funny

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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