When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
