When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
