I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
