The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
