Quotations
Funny

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

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