When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
