Quotations
Funny

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

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