Quotations
Funny

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

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