This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
