When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
