When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
