I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
