My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
