The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
