Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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