Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
