Quotations
Funny

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

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