Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
