Quotations
Funny

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

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