I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
