I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
