Quotations
Funny

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

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