Quotations
Funny

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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