Quotations
Funny

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

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