Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
