I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
