Quotations
Funny

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

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