Quotations
Funny

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

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