I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
