Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
