Quotations
Funny

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

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