Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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