Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

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