Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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