Quotations
Funny

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

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