Quotations
Funny

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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