Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
