Quotations
Funny

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

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