I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
