The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
