Quotations
Funny

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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