When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
