Quotations
Funny

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

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