Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
