I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
