Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
