Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
