When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
