Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
