When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
