The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
