Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

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