Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

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