Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

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