Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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