Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
