Quotations
Funny

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

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