A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
