Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

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