Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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