When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
