Quotations
Funny

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

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