Quotations
Funny

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

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