The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
