I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
