Quotations
Funny

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

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