I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
