Quotations
Funny

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

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