Quotations
Funny

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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