Quotations
Funny

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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