Quotations
Funny

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

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