Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
