Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

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