Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
