Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

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