I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
