Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

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