I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
