The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
