I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
