When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
