I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
