I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
