I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
