When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
