Quotations
Funny

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

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