When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
