Quotations
Funny

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

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