Quotations
Funny

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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