Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

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