Quotations
Funny

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

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