When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
