Quotations
Funny

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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