Quotations
Funny

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

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