The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
