When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
