Quotations
Funny

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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