When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
