I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
