Quotations
Funny

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

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