When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
