When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
