Quotations
Funny

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

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