Quotations
Funny

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

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