Quotations
Funny

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

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