I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
