Quotations
Funny

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

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