When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
