Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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