Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

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