Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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