Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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