Quotations
Funny

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

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