Quotations
Funny

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

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