Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
