Quotations
Funny

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

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