Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
