I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
