Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
