Quotations
Funny

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

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