Quotations
Funny

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

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