Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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