Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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