I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
