I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
