I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
