Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

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