When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
