Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

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