Quotations
Funny

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

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