I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
