Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
