Quotations
Funny

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

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