Quotations
Funny

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

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