Quotations
Funny

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

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