When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
