Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
