Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
