I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
