Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
