When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
