I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
