Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
