When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
