I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
