Quotations
Funny

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

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