I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
