Quotations
Funny

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

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