When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
