The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
