My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
