Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

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