Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Quotations
Funny
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
