Quotations
Funny

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

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