Quotations
Funny

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

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