Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

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