Quotations
Funny

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

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