Quotations
Funny

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

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