When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
