Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
