Quotations
Funny

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

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