Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
