Quotations
Funny

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.

-Winston S. Churchill

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