Quotations
Funny

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

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