Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

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