Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
