Quotations
Funny

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

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