The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
