Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
