Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
