The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
