Quotations
Funny

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

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