Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
