Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

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