Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
