Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

-Mark Twain

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