I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
