Quotations
Funny

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

-Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

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