I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
