Quotations
Funny

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

-Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.

-Alfred North Whitehead

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

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