Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
-Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
