Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

-George Bernard Shaw

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

-Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

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