Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

-Woody Allen

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.

-Yogi Berra

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

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