When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-Oscar Wilde
