You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
