When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
