Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
