Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
