I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
-Frank Sinatra
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
