Quotations
Funny

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce "Epigrams of a Cynic"

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

-Anonymous

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

-Ambrose Bierce

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

-Mark Twain

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