Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
-Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
-George Eliot
"Adam Bede"
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
