When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
