Quotations
Funny

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

-Oscar Wilde

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.

-Wilson Mizner

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

-Albert Einstein

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

-Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

-George Carlin

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.

-Anonymous "The movie “Kinky Boots"

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

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