I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
