Quotations
Funny

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

-Nikola Tesla

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

-George Bernard Shaw

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