Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
-George Bernard Shaw
Quotations
Funny
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
-Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
-Benjamin Franklin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
