I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
-Wilson Mizner
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
-Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
-George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
