Quotations
Funny

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me

-Jarod Kintz "The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

-Voltaire

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

-Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

-Albert Einstein

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

-Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

-Mark Twain

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

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