Quotations
Funny

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

-Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.

-Alexandre Dumas

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

-Ronald Reagan

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

-Mark Twain

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

-Mark Twain

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.

-Winston S. Churchill

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

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