When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
-Nikola Tesla
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
