When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
-Alexandre Dumas
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
-Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
-Anonymous
"The movie “Kinky Boots"
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
-Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
