Quotations
Funny

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

-George Carlin

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

-Benjamin Franklin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.

-Ambrose Bierce

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

-Oscar Wilde

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

-Benjamin Franklin

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

-Winston S. Churchill

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

-Frank Sinatra

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

-Benjamin Franklin

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.

-George Eliot "Adam Bede"

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

-Frank Lloyd Wright

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