When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
-Ambrose Bierce
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
-Voltaire
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
-Winston S. Churchill
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
-Albert Einstein
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
-Anonymous
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
-Jarod Kintz
"The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink."
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
-Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
