You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
-Yogi Berra
Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
-Winston S. Churchill
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
-Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain
