I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
-Woody Allen
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
-Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
-George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
