Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.
No marriage stays in the same pattern forever. It is both the best feature of marriage and the worst that it inevitably changes.
-Lisa Kleypas
"Love in the Afternoon"
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
-Dave Meurer
The essential matrimonial facts: that to be happy you have to find variety in repetition; that to go forward you have to come back to where you begin.
-Jeffrey Eugenides
"Middlesex"
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-Erma Bombeck
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
-Jane Austen
"Pride and Prejudice"
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
-Agatha Christie
Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right.
-Oscar Wilde
"The Importance of Being Earnest"
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-Ambrose Bierce
To complain that I could only be married once was like complaining that I had only been born once.
-G. K. Chesterton
