My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
Quotations
Marriage
To complain that I could only be married once was like complaining that I had only been born once.
-G. K. Chesterton
Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-Mae West
"The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said"
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
-Oscar Wilde
A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of himself about her.
-George Bernard Shaw
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Milton Berle
Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.
-Jarod Kintz "This Book Has No Title"
Some marriages are made in heaven, but they all have to be maintained on earth.
-Debbie Macomber
"Mrs. Miracle"
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
-Henny Youngman
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-Benjamin Franklin
