Quotations
Marriage

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.

-George Bernard Shaw

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

-Erma Bombeck

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

-Agatha Christie

The essential matrimonial facts: that to be happy you have to find variety in repetition; that to go forward you have to come back to where you begin.

-Jeffrey Eugenides "Middlesex"

Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart!

-Nathaniel Hawthorne "The Scarlet Letter"

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

-Henny Youngman

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

-Anonymous

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding.

-Oscar Wilde

Catholics don't believe in divorce. We do believe in murder. There's always Confession, after all.

-Diana Gabaldon "An Echo in the Bone"

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