My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
Quotations
Marriage
Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.
-Jarod Kintz "This Book Has No Title"
A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of himself about her.
-George Bernard Shaw
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-Erma Bombeck
Remember that children, marriages and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.
-Honoré De Balzac
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
-Agatha Christie
You'll be happy if you'll remember that men don't change much. Women do. Women adapt themselves, and if you think that means they lose their individuality, you're wrong. Show me a happy marriage and I'll show you a clever woman.
-Elizabeth Cadell
The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women. It's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.
-Nora Ephron
Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart!
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
"The Scarlet Letter"
