I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
-Winston S. Churchill
Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
-Ronald Reagan
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
-George Carlin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
-Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
-George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
-Mark Twain
