Quotations
Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

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