Quotations
Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

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