Quotations
Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand



Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

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