Quotations
Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

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