You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Be good and you will be lonesome.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.