Quotations
Mark Twain

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

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