Quotations
Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

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