Quotations
Mark Twain

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

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