Quotations
Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

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