Quotations
Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

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