You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Be good and you will be lonesome.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
