Quotations
Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

We can’t reach old age by another man’s road.

Age

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

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