Quotations
Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand



Be good and you will be lonesome.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

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