Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Be good and you will be lonesome.
In religion and politics people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand