Quotations
Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins.

God

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

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