Quotations
Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

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