Quotations
Funny

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw

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