Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
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