Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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