Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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