Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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