Quotations
Funny
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
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