Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
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