Quotations
Funny

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

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