Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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