Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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