Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
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