Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
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