Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
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