Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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