Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
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