Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
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