Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
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