Quotations
Funny

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

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