Quotations
Funny
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
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