Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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