Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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