Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
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