Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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