Quotations
Funny

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

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