Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
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