Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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