Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
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