Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
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