Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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