Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
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