Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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