Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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