Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
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