Quotations
Funny

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

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