Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
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