Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
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