Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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