Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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