Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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