Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
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