Quotations
Funny
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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