Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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