Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
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