Quotations
Funny
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
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