Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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