Quotations
Funny

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill

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