Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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