Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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