Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
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