Quotations
Funny
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
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