Quotations
Funny

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

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