Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
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