Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
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