Quotations
Funny

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

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