Quotations
Funny
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
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