Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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