Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
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