Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
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