Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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