Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
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