Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
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