Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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