Quotations
Funny
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
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