Quotations
Funny

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

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