Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
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