Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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