Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
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