Quotations
Funny
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
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