Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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