Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
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