Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Subscribe to our Newsletter
Note: Your personal data will be used by Simply Knowledge for the purpose of providing you with the Newsletter service, which you have specifically requested.
Your data are safe with Simply Knowledge
Login
Enter your e-mail and password to access account
New Users Register
Register to enjoy the benefits of Simply Knowledge.

