Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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