Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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