Quotations
Funny

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

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