Quotations
Funny
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
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