Quotations
Funny
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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