Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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