Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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