Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
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