Quotations
Funny
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
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