Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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