Quotations
Funny
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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