Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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