Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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