Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
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