Quotations
Funny

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

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