Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
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