Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
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