Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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