Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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