Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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