Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
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