Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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