Quotations
Funny
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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