Quotations
Funny
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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