Quotations
Funny
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
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