Quotations
Funny
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
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