Quotations
Funny
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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