Quotations
Funny

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

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