Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
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