Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
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