Quotations
Funny
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
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