Quotations
Funny
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston S. Churchill
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
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