Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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