Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
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