Quotations
Funny
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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