Quotations
Funny

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw

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