Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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