Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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