Quotations
Funny
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
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