Quotations
Funny
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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