Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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