Quotations
Funny
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
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