Quotations
Funny
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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