Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
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