Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

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