Quotations
Funny
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
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