Quotations
Funny
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
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