Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
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