Quotations
Funny
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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