Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
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