Quotations
Funny
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
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