Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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