Quotations
Funny
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
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