Quotations
Funny
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
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