Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
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