Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
- George Bernard Shaw
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
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