Quotations
Funny
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
- Benjamin Franklin
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
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