Quotations
Funny
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.
- George Bernard Shaw
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
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