Quotations
Funny
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
Copy from one, its plagiarism; copy from two, its research.
- Wilson Mizner
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
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