Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.
- Oscar Wilde
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
- George Bernard Shaw
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
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