Quotations
Funny
My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
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