Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
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