Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
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