Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
- George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
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