Quotations
Funny

I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead

When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
- Frank Sinatra

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan

My father was a Creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, its seems, begins where yours left off.
- Alexandre Dumas

I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

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