Quotations
Funny

I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain

There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz

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