Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.
- Winston S. Churchill
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
- Mark Twain
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
- Oscar Wilde
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
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