Quotations
Funny
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.
- Voltaire
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me
- Jarod Kintz
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
- Mark Twain
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