Quotations
Funny
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
- Mark Twain
Ladies, gentlemen and those who are yet to make up your mind.
- Anonymous
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
I am not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
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