Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain
When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
- Ambrose Bierce
A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.
- Anonymous
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
- Mark Twain
I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men.
- George Eliot
I always feel that I have two duties to perform with a parting guest: one, to see that he doesn't forget anything that is his; the other, to see that he doesn't take anything that is mine.
- Alfred North Whitehead
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