Quotations
Funny
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
- George Carlin
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.
- Benjamin Franklin
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
- Nikola Tesla
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston S. Churchill
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