I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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