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Marriage

Don’t be jealous if I spend 50% of my time with you and 50% of my time with others, because you get 100% of 50%, while all the others have to share that other 50%. This is the speech I’ve prepared to tell my wife in the future, when I’m spending a majority minus one percent of my time with my clones.

- Jarod Kintz
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding.
- Oscar Wilde
Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right.
- Oscar Wilde
An undutiful daughter will prove an unmanageable wife.
- Benjamin Franklin
The desire to get married is a basic and primal instinct in women. It's followed by another basic and primal instinct: the desire to be single again.
- Nora Ephron
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce
The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases.
- Nia Vardalos
There's no more usual basis of union than mutual misunderstanding.
- Henry James
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habit and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
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